Why should you get to know travelhopefully?

This presentable, detached post-war (just) property enjoys a rural smoke- and chemical-free E. Hertfordshire situation yet is within easy reach of London.

It's in good order and in a good (well, bad, actually) light is thought to date from a later period.

It comes complete with the full set of original features and fittings (OK, thatch recently removed but neat vegetation on the front elevation compensates - allegedly).

Built on classic English foundations (public skool, etc.+ post-grad) occasionally reveals Mediterranean cultural and linguistic influences. (You have been warned - but it does mean owner isn't afraid to compliment the features of other properties).

Some features the owner thinks are desirable**:

■ Attic believed to be entirely cobweb-free (except by own children)
■ Definitely no bats (self-assessment)
■ Original surfaces throughout - no stucco, render, pebbledash or re-surfacing of façade
■ Structurally sound and no major defects (owner likes to believe that moderate applications of Rouge oeno-lubricants prevent
creaking hinges)
■ No underpinning, shoring-up or props
■ Elevated situation offers long views
■ Standard insulation (at last) and double-glazed
■ All chimneys, plumbing, etc., in good working order
■ Heating system runs on almost anything and fuel consumption is kept reasonably well in check
■ Free of current tenancies
■ Good wine stock and not stingy with it, either - but needs help with depleting same.

NOT suited to:
Time-sharing
Pogonophobes (but therapy is available)

** Viewers' concurrence is sought

Full specification and pictures on request. Subject to survey. All offers considered.
Early viewing recommended. - flexible hours by arrangement on weekday evenings and all weekend.
All the usual lies are not repeated here - please take as read the ones you'd like to hear...

NB: NOT owned by an estate agent! Or even related to one.

He describes his ideal match thus:

There aren't many activities that aren't at least twice as good if there's someone to share them with.

IF YOU HAVE
● Good intellect and varied interests
● A sense of curiosity and adventure and an enquiring mind
● Like to to investigate 'Abroad' (and especially the cuisine) beyond the standard tourist haunts

AND YOU
● Enjoy laughter and wit
● Expect good manners
● Appreciate language and are reasonably pun-resistant - or don't hesitate to retaliate in kind
● Like classical music, opera and maybe even the occasional bit of jazz or Latin American
● Wouldn't be seen dead 'clubbing' or at a Karaoke event
● Don't mind collaborating on the Telegraph crossword
● May be a bridge player
● May well have been privately educated
● Don't hate bullet points (well, you have read this far)
● Won't hesitate to argue if you think this is too demanding

THEN
■ ■ We've got a lot to share - so press that Contact button NOW! Please!